“Sow a thought, and you reap an act; Sow an act, and you reap a habit; Sow a habit, and you reap a character; Sow a character, and you reap a destiny”

Charles Reade

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Gratitude is a positive way to think

I am thankful for so many things. I find that when I am feeling sorry for myself, if I stop and truely count my blessings, I have so little to complain about.

Feeling sorry for yourself and complaining are just plain bad habits!!! 


Let us all give thanks.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Fun To Do

Woke up this morning thinking about my recent success in controlling my selfish thoughts and a little ditty from the LDS Children'sSongbook, by Rebecca Stevens And Cecelia Johns, came to mind. (with my own words)

Changing my thoughts is Fun to Do, Fun to Do, Fun to Do

Changing my thoughts is Fun to Do, to Do, to Do, to Do.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Whats working?  Starting each day with a prayer and a song and reminding myself of who I want to be for my family.

Saturday, September 3, 2011


Early morning prayers and positive self talk a must for taking control of thoughts that turn to bad behavior. I have had a real desire to stay in control, and Yagottawanna or you wont. You know if you really want to change or not. If you really want to you will. 

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Sometimes its just plain hard to let go of the bad feelings and negative thoughts. I let myself wallow in them real good for a few days, then I remembered what I had decided to do. I had to create and act on a positve thought. I called my husband and mustered a cheerful tone and told him all I needed was some chocolate. Immediately I began to feel better and catch on more positve thoughts and actions. It really does work.
Sometimes its the simple act of smiling at someone even if you don't feel like smiling. I've been thinking about a quote I once saw, I don't know who to credit for it.

" If you can't lift the corners up, let the middle sag!"

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Positive self talk Part 2

Identifying negative thinking

Not sure if your self-talk is positive or negative? Here are some common forms of negative self-talk:

Filtering. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones. For example, say you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. But you forgot one minor step. That evening, you focus only on your oversight and forget about the compliments you received.

Personalizing. When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you.

Catastrophizing. You automatically anticipate the worst. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster.

Polarizing. You see things only as either good or bad, black or white. There is no middle ground. You feel that you have to be perfect or that you're a total failure.

Focusing on positive thinking

You can learn to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. The process is simple, but it does take time and practice — you're creating a new habit, after all. Here are some ways to think and behave in a more positive and optimistic way:

Identify areas to change. If you want to become more optimistic and engage in more positive thinking, first identify areas of your life that you typically think negatively about, whether it's work, your daily commute or a relationship, for example. You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.

Check yourself. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you're thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.

Be open to humor. Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.

Follow a healthy lifestyle. Exercise at least three times a week to positively affect mood and reduce stress. Follow a healthy diet to fuel your mind and body. And learn to manage stress.

Surround yourself with positive people. Make sure those in your life are positive, supportive people you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways.

Practice positive self-talk. Start by following one simple rule: Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you.

Here are some examples of negative self-talk and how you can apply a positive thinking twist to them.

Negative self-talk Positive thinking
I've never done it before. It's an opportunity to learn something new.
It's too complicated. I'll tackle it from a different angle.
I don't have the resources. Necessity is the mother of invention.
I'm too lazy to get this done. I wasn't able to fit it into my schedule but can re-examine some priorities.
There's no way it will work. I can try to make it work.
It's too radical a change. Let's take a chance.
No one bothers to communicate with me. I'll see if I can open the channels of communication.
I'm not going to get any better at this. I'll give it another try.

Practicing positive thinking every day

If you tend to have a negative outlook, don't expect to become an optimist overnight. But with practice, eventually your self-talk will contain less self-criticism and more self-acceptance. You may also become less critical of the world around you. Plus, when you share your positive mood and positive experience, both you and those around you enjoy an emotional boost.

Practicing positive self-talk will improve your outlook. When your state of mind is generally optimistic, you're able to handle everyday stress in a more constructive way. That ability may contribute to the widely observed health benefits of positive thinking.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Part 1 (I found this article on the internet)

Positive thinking: Reduce stress by eliminating negative self-talk

Positive thinking helps with stress management and can even improve your health. Practice overcoming negative self-talk with examples provided.

By Mayo Clinic staff

Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic — and it may even affect your health.

Indeed, some studies show that personality traits like optimism and pessimism can affect many areas of your health and well-being. The positive thinking that typically comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress management. And effective stress management is associated with many health benefits. If you tend to be pessimistic, don't despair — you can learn positive thinking skills. Here's how.

Understanding positive thinking and self-talk

Positive thinking doesn't mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life's less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach the unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.

Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head every day. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.

If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you're likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.

The health benefits of positive thinking

Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

Increased life span

Lower rates of depression

Lower levels of distress

Greater resistance to the common cold

Better psychological and physical well-being

Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease

Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

It's unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. One theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body. It's also thought that positive and optimistic people tend to live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and don't smoke or drink alcohol in excess.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Entitlement is not positve thinking

Summer has been a very busy time, but I'm still here and at it, are you? I still read and think positive things every day even though I don't take as much time to write.
You should already know what has happened to me. I am happier. Thinking positive and being optimistic are becoming easier for me. I am learning to not let other people determine how I am going to react. I am learning that I am not a bad person when I have to say no and to get rid of  those thoughts in my head that try to tell me I am, and ignore the judgemental looks and comments from selfish self serving people that try to make me feel guilty.
There has been alot written lately about this entitlement generation. I know our family has been affected and infected. Here are some samples from Meridian Magazine:

" The Age of Entitlement actually is an end product of Tom Brokaw’s “Greatest Generation.” Those who lived through the Great Depression, fought their way through World War II, and came home to create families and opportunity, sowed the seeds of the Entitlement Generation. This heroic generation, determined to give the next generation “all the things I never had,” gave them everything in life except the most important: self-reliance. The opportunity met the audience, and the results have reverberated ever since.

This bespeaks the question: to what are we entitled?

•Are we entitled to live unsafely and expect a government safety net?

•Are we entitled to eat poorly, diet poorly, exercise poorly and expect a government program to solve self-inflicted body ailments? Or, even provide low cost medicine and at the same time demand high cost/high yield R&D -- and then retain the right to massive lawsuits for the 10 out of 10 million for whom the medicine doesn’t work – dramatically driving up the cost to the pharmaceutical companies, and ultimately the customer?

•Are we entitled to live beyond our means our entire adult lives and expect a government guaranteed comfortable retirement income?

In just one generation we seem to have gone from self-reliance, to entitlement, to victimization. If we don’t get it, we are now victims of someone else’s conspiracy, greed, selfishness, or political ambition. In a comparison of values today vs. 40 years ago, Americans have dramatically increased their demands for someone else to fund and manage their problems.

Government programs, and those whose lives depend on them, never end. Congressional testimony favors those who want to keep or increase funding for programs over those who present testimony against programs by a 63:1 ratio – and the majority of those testifying are government bureaucrats whose salaries are being paid (including for the time spent testifying) by tax dollars: a clear case of conflict of interest.

This also goes to the heart of the question of how to define success in government programs. The typical view would be that a program succeeds when it can establish that more people are being served. An alternative view would be that the most successful program would be one where the Administrator would testify that the Congress can now de-fund the program; its purpose had been completely met: there was no one left who needed that service: turn out the lights. It would take a miracle for this to ever happen, but it should be the ultimate goal.
We must take stock now. Once freedom and choice are given away, they are seldom retrieved. As Benjamin Franklin observed: “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”[vi]

We are entitled to fight to preserve the one, and work to not need the other. That is our entitlement."

The Age of Entitlement

By Larry L. Eastland, Ph. D.

Editor’s note: Parent polls from a number of sources indicate that the most worried-about parenting challenge of all is the entitlement attitudes of today’s kids. Responding to this concern, the Eyres have undertaken a multi-part series on entitlement which will appear here in the pages of Meridian each Monday.
"Many readers saw and participated in the poll last week about what is the biggest problem or challenge faced by kids (and their parents) in today’s world.

The results were quite remarkable! More than half of the parents responding were most worried about ENTITLEMENT! (We combined those voting for “entitlement” and those voting with “excessive technology” which, let’s face it, is just another way of saying entitlement—entitlement to all things electronic!) Other audience polls and publication polls have put the percentage of parents most worried about entitlement at more than 65%!

We have been intrigued and surprised by the size of these majorities, and we have also been pleased, since the title of our new book, being released by Penguin this Fall is The Entitlement Trap.

Think about it: From half to two thirds of parents, with no explanation or discussion, voted for Entitlement as the biggest problem of this generation of kids and the biggest worry for this generation of parents.

We ask our audiences why? Their answers are fascinating:

“Entitlement leads to low motivation.”

“Kids they deserve everything and don’t have to earn anything.”

“It makes them disrespectful.”

“They don’t know how to work.”

“They think they have to have everything their friends have.”

“It’s the reason for all the other problems on the list, they think they can do whatever they want.”

Perhaps the biggest problem with entitlement is that under its illusions, there seem to be no real consequences in life and no motivation to work for anything. Someone will always bail you out, get you off the hook, buy you a new one, make excuses for you, give you another chance, pay your debt, and hand you what you ask for.

Entitlement is a double edged sword (or a double-jawed trap) for kids. On one edge it gives kids all that they don’t need—indulgence, dullness, conceit, and laziness; and on the backswing, it takes from them everything they do need—initiative, independence, inventiveness, pride, responsibility, and a chance to really work for things and to build their own sense of fulfillment and self-esteem."

The Biggest Kid-Problem: Entitlement
By Richard and Linda Eyre

Another Meridian contributor asked readers to respond to a phenomena in our church in her column,
"Using and Abusing the Priesthood Moving Company" By Kathryn H. Kidd,  and she was deluged with letters from angry members tired of adults feeling entitled to the free services of members of the church, by virtue of their membership in the church. The article was primarily about moving people (You should read it)  but I have seen worse abuse in members asking people to give free service from work that is their livelyhood for free. Some of the respondants adress the isssue of when it is appropriate service, but so many have been abused because of the entitlement attitude of others.
My sister is a floral designer and cake decorator. Either of these tasks are time consuming and expensive. I shudder to think of the disruption in her family and finances if she said yes to all of the requests from friends of friends who ask if she can do the flowers and/or bake the cake because someone wants to have a wedding that they cannot afford.
My husband is a handyman, whose abuse by members caused financial and emotional stress in our early years because my husband thought he should say yes to every request to help build a garage, replace a roof, fix a car, repair the plumbing, etc..  For the sake of my sanity, we are learning to say no. If you say yes, your name gets passed around for greater abuse, " oh call Phil Pence he's good at everything".

Now how does this all relate to positive thinking?

Entitlement comes from three things: laziness, selfishness and fear. We fear that we will not have what we want or need unless we can get someone else to do it or get it for us or that we could not possibly live without the help or thing that we want.

Faith=positive thinking.

Exercising faith (or thinking positive about our circumstance or problem) we can find an appropriate solution without burdening someone else.
If you don't have the money for the wedding flowers and cake you can have the faith that with creativity and sacrifice you can have a lovely simple reception where what is important is the focus.
If you need something repaired and you can afford a wide screen TV and to eat out once a week, you can pay someone to fix it. Do you have a skill that you can barter that would be beneficial to the other person? If not, don't expect them to do it. If you don't have the money to pay there are resources in books and on the internet that teach you how to do it yourself. It may be difficult, and time consuming but is your time more precious than the person you are asking? And will you not gain from the opposition confidence that you can do hard things. Does or doesn't facing opposition positively make us strong? Is it something you can save your money for and pay someone to do it later? Does it need to be done at all or is it something you want done for convenience or monetary gain? Did you neglect the upkeep and expect someone to bail you out?
When you think honestly and faithfully about your situation you will find a responsible, unselfish solution.

let me repeat the Eyre's again:

"Entitlement is a double edged sword (or a double-jawed trap) ... On one edge it gives (people) all that they don’t need—indulgence, dullness, conceit, and laziness; and on the backswing, it takes from them everything they do need—initiative, independence, inventiveness, pride, responsibility, and a chance to really work for things and to build their own sense of fulfillment and self-esteem."

That's a very positive way of thinking.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Blessed are the flexible

I read this quote on the wall at the dental school in Richmond many years ago. Being flexible is a positive choice. I don't know the name of the author.

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

A support group called Happiness

A flyer for my positive thinking support group hangs on a bulletin board in the hall at my church, inviting people to come and suggesting some names we might call our group. Someone, not liking the suggestions given, pined this to the board.

Pessimism &

Monday, June 27, 2011

Now that's the power of positive thinking!

When I was a young mother, having one baby after another, people would ask me "how are you going to pay for their college education? I very matter of factly answered "I'm not." I have to say it took a great deal of positive thinking(faith) to have 8 children in todays world. I believed that God wanted me to have all those children and that, if I did what He wanted me to do, He would provide the miracles, and he did.
Our oldest daughter, Renada, lived at home and went to community college and paid the old fashioned way, working and paying her way. She finally finished her associates degree this year after getting married and having 2 children. She had one unfinished class to take. The next oldest, Taerra, also lived at home to save money and went to VCU her first semester. Then we were inspired to move to the little city of Buena Vista, Va. where a new college had been open catering to the LDS community, Southern Virginia University. Taerra moved with us and transfered and worked her way through 31/2 years at SVU. She received several scholarships that made it affordable.
We opened our icecream parlor here and the whole family worked in it. Bekah had spent her first year out of highschool working for the family for no pay so she didn't have money for school. A wonderful and generous man came into our icecream parlor and met Bekah and inquired about school. When he heard what she was doing, he offered to pay for her education at SVU. He made the same offer to our son Nate the next year. This year Tori, who has been working for her father, for pay, and did not go to college her first year out of highschool, will be paying her own way through SVU aided by living at home and earning scholarships.
It never dawned on me that having a large family would cause a problem with them getting a college education.
Now that's the power of positive thinking!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Just let it go

This one will be easier said than done, sometimes you have to bury your sword.

I was reflecting on an uncomfortable situation that I find myself in and beginning to let it bug me.

Once again someone has done one of those things that I really have an issue with. As I was pondering, the story of the converted Lamanites in the Book Of Mormon came to my mind. These people had become a bloodthirsty and wicked people. When they were converted to the truth they knew that they could not wield a sword again because of their “habit” of murder, so they buried their swords.

I know I need to “bury my sword”, but when it’s not a physical thing I find it hard to know how to

Sunday, June 12, 2011

I have decided not to give up

I knew after 90 days I would not necessarily write everyday, but I had a bad experience and I didn’t want to write about , plus it was the first full week of summer vacation. I will just say that I know controlling my thoughts will be a constant lifetime effort and sometimes I will let myself down. I can look back and see progress and I am learning from my mistakes.

I typed In “Positive thinking” on my church’s website and I read part of an article. I came to this comment that reminded me of what I needed to remember in this case.

“Letting go of the belief that we can control another person’s behavior does not mean that we cease to care about that person. Instead, it means that we trust that the Lord loves that person and knows better than we do how to help him. Our task then becomes being open to the Spirit’s promptings in our relationships.”

Jan Underwood Pinborough

Earlier Michaela was watching a Veggie Tales movie and the message was letting go of your anger. It is hard for me to get rid of negative thoughts and feelings when I feel and think someone has let me down. This has been a common theme in my blogs, but I have decided not to give up, so back in the saddle I go.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

day 90- think happy, think chocolate

A lesson from Michael McLean:

Close your eyes and count slowly and silently from ONE to TEN.

Any problems? You don’t have to do this in a foreign language. Your native tongue is fine. Just get from 1 to 10 and open your eyes.

Great. Now the second part of this little exercise.

Wait. Before we go to part two, I need to know if you’re familiar with CHOCOLATE. Doesn’t matter which kind of chocolate: Swiss chocolate, dark chocolate, hot chocolate, chocolate ice cream, chocolate cake, chocolate candies, chocolate malted milkshakes. Anything that qualifies as that delicious brown sweet substance that actually forms one of the four major food groups in some people’s diets. If, for dietary reasons you’re unfamiliar with any or all things chocolate, you’re excused from this little test. Okay. We can move on.

Now, for the second part of this exercise, close your eyes and count slowly and silently from ONE to TEN only DON’T THINK ABOUT CHOCOLATE!!! If anything chocolate enters your mind at any time during your counting you have to stop and start over again, beginning at ONE.

You might want to think about something that’s NOT chocolate to keep your mind off chocolate, but this can be a tricky strategy because thinking about that OTHER THING simply reminds you that you’re only focusing on it because you’re not supposed to be thinking about the Chocolate this OTHER THING is meant to distract your from thinking about. Just don’t think about Chocolate. Stop it! If you can’t stop it before you start you’re NEVER going to make it from One to Ten without thinking about anything that melts in your mouth, not in your hands….Ignore that. If you have a marker, go ahead and scratch those lines out. Just don’t use a BROWN one.

Okay, begin.

Why is this taking you soooooo long? You did this effortlessly in Part 1. What happened?

The Official M2BJ Handbook would like to suggest what might have happened. In each case the goal was the same; to count from 1 to10. But when the focus was not on the goal, but on what we weren’t supposed to do while trying to reach that goal, everything became more difficult than it needed to be.

Life can do that to us. Distract us. Become the urgent, demanding, have-to- deal-with-right-now sequence of things that keeps us from CELEBRATING and REJOICING in the little miracles of happiness that are begging for our attention. Remember. Our MISSION is to be “willing to learn” how to celebrate and rejoice the ways we’ve been blessed and find happiness where we haven’t found it before.

Another thing that probably should be highlighted here before we move on is that bit about learning a new language. The language of JOY.

Those of us who are not natural linguists may be concerned about the foreign language required for this mission. Some of us aren’t familiar with the language of JOY while others THINK they know what it sounds like, but they’re wrong.

The language of JOY is not at all the same as what some might call

“happy-speak”. Happy-Speak is really a pseudo-language like pig-latin. It’s a made up way of communicating where someone can pretend the real tragedies and heart aches of the world can be minimized if they just say the correct happy-speak words to make it all okay. On a mission to be happy the REAL happiness we seek to rejoice and celebrate is not found in glossing over and denying the truths of life with our fingers plugged in our ears as we loudly sing, “la la la la la I’m Not Listening”. No, the language of JOY is nothing if not HONEST, tender and kind. The language of JOY is spoken in truth every single moment, with a faith that just because we don’t really understand why something impossibly difficult has happened to us, (or someone we love) pretending we understand when we don’t is a poor substitute for trusting the source of happiness to reveal the answers when we’re truly ready to receive them.

The reason it’s ultimately important to learn the language of JOY is not so much for the benefit of others, but for ourselves. If we can learn to think in this language there’s an excellent chance that we’ll be able to place language of joy descriptions in our hearts and minds of the “real deal” when it comes to happiness.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Day 87- cheerfulness, joy, light, and good feelings.

Sometimes I just want someone to know I am put out, angry, hurt or whatever. I want to choose to do or say something to let them know.

Today was one of those days. As I dwelt on it and chose to whine to family about it, I did not feel happy. I remembered this quote from George Q. Cannon:

“Do not allow darkness and gloom to enter your hearts. I want to give you a rule by which you may know that the spirit you have is the right spirit. The Spirit of God produces cheerfulness, joy, light, and good feelings. Whenever you feel gloomy and despondent and are downcast, unless it be for you sins, ye may know it is not the spirit of God which you have. Fight against it and drive it out of your heart. The spirit of God is a spirit of hope; it is not a spirit of gloom.”

I may quote this one frequently on my blog because I use it frequently to help me change my thoughts and feelings.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Day 86- Happy Sabbath! “Our thoughts will also condemn us,”

…feelings of hate, envy, and jealousy, or of any other negative impulse or idea, can be changed by the control of one’s thoughts. And this is something which lies within the sole power of the individual. No one can prevent you from thinking what you wish. Within the sanctity of your mind, you are the king or the queen. There you rule. There you can determine which thoughts will be given precedence, which thoughts will be allowed to take root, and which will be expelled.

But with such control over thought comes a corresponding responsibility. We will be judged by our own thoughts as well as by our words and actions. “Our thoughts will also condemn us,” said Alma (Alma 12:14).

Elder Francis M. Gibbons

of the First Quorum of the Seventy

Thursday, May 26, 2011

day 85- get a life!

Was upset with Phil and allowed myself to dwell on it and get myself all worked up. It’s amazing how justified I feel when I’m filled with negative thoughts, but I have been reminding myself so often where those thoughts come from that I knew I had to find a way to clear my mind.

My computer was acting up so I had to go downstairs and use Phil’s computer. I typed in a few words about what was bothering me about him into google and started reading. It wasn’t long before what I needed hit me between the eyes, the words “get a life”. I realized I had spent so much time checking in on what he was saying and doing that I couldn’t help but find what I was looking for, something to complain about. (Phil works at home most of the time)

Today I spent more time getting a life of my own and thinking about how I am going to make something of it.
 Do I want to be a whimpy,whining woman or a woman of power? I want to be seen as strong and capable not needy and weak. Cheerful and happy, not gloomy and sad.

I think I can, I think I can. I think I can.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Happy Like Jesus

I know this is a plug for his book, but I love the message here. We can be positvely happy like Jesus!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Day83- a bad habit

I found this 10 step habit breaking program on wikihow:

1Understand and admit to yourself that you have a bad habit. You won't get anywhere unless you can admit this fact. Ask yourself:

What is my bad habit?

Why can't I really get rid of it?

What things or people stop me from getting rid of it?

2Before doing anything, you must be willing to change, and be able to accept the changes it could make.

3Decide how you will break your habit. Here's a good method: Every time you catch yourself preparing to bite your nails, suck your thumb, or whatever else you do, stop yourself and make a mark on a calendar. If you really stick to your goal, you will see the number of marks steadily decrease over time.

4Build your own "NO" zone: Find someone you like who disapproves of your habit. Tell yourself you will not indulge in the act whenever you are around that person. If you like the person enough, you will find yourself having less desire to go back to the habit. Use the person as an anchor. Just be around this person whenever you feel like controlling the urge. (This doesn't necessarily mean you can't be around this person when indulging in the undesired habit, just try to use their dislike of the habit to fuel your own will to quit.)

5Capitalize on other negatives: Use any other clashing habit or negative about yourself to combat the habit. For instance, if you're lazy, be lazy about your habit. Think of it as too much effort. If you're a smoker, keep your pack locked up in your car down the street. Then you'll find it easy to be too lazy to go get one.

6Try to replace your habit with something new and positive in your life. The key is not to focus on the "not doing", but to think instead about "doing". Instead of thinking about missing that piece of chocolate cake after dinner, think about how good it is going to feel to take a long walk without all that sugar in your system.

7Reward yourself. Once you have gone a week or so with no marks on the calendar, buy yourself a sundae, go shopping, eat at a fancy restaurant, or whatever makes you happy.

8Forgive yourself when you slip: Don't beat yourself up if you end up falling into the habit again. Pick yourself up and try again. Your efforts have not been wasted and you have not lost any ground. With every attempt you make yourself stronger.

9Open your eyes: Life shows you the way if you just listen. You always "know" when you're crossing a line. Go by your gut and avoid it when you "know" you should.

10Visualize the new you, without the habit: See it, feel it, hear the sounds of success. Hear the compliments. Hear your new thoughts of how great it feels to have made this change. Never stop trying to change and visually see your self in your mind succeeding.

Monday, May 23, 2011


I firmly believe that if you have a positive attitude you can accomplish anything, as long as:

1. It’s God’s will

2. You apply true principles.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Happy Sabbath! day81- Powerful beyond measure

“One of the greatest weaknesses in most of us is our lack of faith in ourselves. One of our common failings is to depreciate our tremendous worth”

-L. Tom Perry,

I read the following quote somewhere once and then I saw it recently on my son, Nate’s blog. It is so true.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

Friday, May 20, 2011

I am succeeding and feeling pretty good about my life and things in general.
Positive thinking really works!

Here are some don’ts.

Feel sorry for yourself

I really had to decide that I didn’t want to do these things anymore. I decided that I would choose faith instead, life is more pleasant and the spirit teaches me.

Faith=positive thinking

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Day 77- "though the darkness wars to hold us down"

Just over a week before our Women at the Well performance, I was asking one of the women in my Harmony group rehearsal if her daughters would play a small part as some of the 10 virgins during one of the songs. Another mother in our group mentioned that her daughter would probably be willing to do it too and I gratefully asked her to see if she would. Later she told me that her daughter would be willing to participate.

The day of the performance came and just shortly before we were to start my friend called and told me her daughter had changed her mind. I told her I didn’t know who else to call at such short notice but to tell her daughter that if she would get someone to take her place it would be ok with me.

(I didn’t stress or worry, I kept a positive, faithful attitude)

As usual, everything worked out and the daughter decided to come. The next day I got this email from her mother. I have eliminated her name.

"I just wanted to personally thank you for the wonderful production you directed on Sat. of Women at the Well. It was such a pleasure to be a part of it with so many talented women and girls. I really felt the spirit and know that many did also and were deeply touched by the beautiful music and readings.

(My Daughter) was also touched by the music and listened to the CD the rest of the weekend. She said later that she was glad she came and was able to participate with the other girls. I'm glad she decided to come, even though it took some encouragement to help her understand how much she was needed. I guess its like coming to the well and being filled. One of her favorite songs was the one Michaela sang of "Daughter Arise". She was very touched by the song and how your daughter performed it. (she)also enjoyed hearing your other daughters sing as well as your sister. I think we all enjoyed the way each song was portrayed."

In the song Michaela sang, "Daughter Arise" the words say “Though the darkness wars to hold us down, the Lord bids us look upward and leave the world behind” How many times has a negative thought and feeling tried to keep us from church, or service or some other good and worthwhile thing. That is the darkness trying to hold us down. That is our opportunity to remind ourselves that something good is about to happen so don’t give in to those negative thoughts.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

"Hymns, When Faith Endures, no. 128
I will not doubt, I will not fear;
God’s love and strength are always near.
His promised gift helps me to find
An inner strength and peace of mind.
I give the Father willingly
My trust, my prayers, humility.
His Spirit guides; his love assures
That fear departs when faith endures.
Text: Naomi W. Randall, 1908–2001. © 1985 IRI
Music: Stephen M. Jones, b. 1960. © 1985 IRI"

Monday, May 16, 2011

day 75- positive thoughts and inspiration

I put together a musical production for our community, our performance was last Saturday. I was apprehensive about doing it when the idea first occurred to me. I feared rejection from the people that I wanted to include, but because I knew fear was negative thinking and fear and faith can’t abide in me at the same time, I did not give into my fears(negative thinking), and moved forward in faith. What resulted was a beautiful production put on by women of different Christian faiths.

I had wonderful responses from all who attended and they asked that we perform it again soon so that they could bring their friends.

Although everything turned out as well as I could have wanted, there were a few setbacks and problems, but they were all easily solved because I kept a positive, faithful attitude which allowed me to receive the inspiration I needed to work things out.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Day 74- happy sabbath!

Keeping Mentally Well By Jan Underwood Pinborough
Principle No. 4: Changing thoughts can change feelings.

Some of our emotional distress originates in negative thinking habits. “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Prov. 23:7.) Larry Crenshaw, manager of special services for LDS Social Services at Church headquarters, explains: “If we are thinking unwholesome or negative thoughts, it’s going to show up in our emotions and eventually in our behavior.” Negative thinking patterns cause negative emotions; they can even trigger depression. And medical researchers are finding that some kinds of negative thinking can also make us more vulnerable to physical illnesses, including heart disease. (See Redford Williams, The Trusting Heart: Great News about Type A Behavior, New York City: Random House, 1989.)

Dr. Ken Tuttle, chairman of the department of psychiatry at Utah Valley Hospital, explains that having a negative style of perceiving reality is “like trying to watch general conference on a television set that has a fuzzy picture. The good is there, but we can’t perceive it very well.”

Negative thinking comes in many forms. We may magnify the negative aspects of a situation and minimize the positive. We may see every negative event as proving our unworthiness. We may think only in black-and-white extremes. Or we may use the words always and never in evaluating our failures and successes.

The first step in changing our negative thought patterns is monitoring our thoughts. “When I began to listen to my thoughts, I realized that I was often thinking illogically,” said one man. “If someone cut in front of me on the freeway, I would think, ‘That stupid teenager. He just has to show how smart he is by cutting me off.’ When I heard such thinking, I would remind myself, ‘That teenager wasn’t trying to cut me off—he was probably in a hurry and didn’t realize how close his turn was.’”

Because negative thoughts “feel” so right to the person who is thinking them, they can be difficult to turn off. Some therapists recommend mentally yelling “Stop!” to banish a negative thought and then applying reason to reevaluate the situation. One doctor suggests lifting the emotions by completing the sentence “I am thankful for …” with as many answers as possible.

This does not mean that we refuse to allow negative emotions or experiences. But it does mean that we do not ruminate about them and draw negative conclusions about our own worth. The rewards for redirecting thoughts in a more positive direction are great. Depression can subside, anxiety can diminish, and physical health can improve.

Self-help books can help us learn to change negative thinking patterns, as can therapists specializing in cognitive therapy.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Day 72- opportunity knocks

Cleaned up a yard in Roanoke today. I had a ton of things to do at home but I felt like I needed to help, as the debris we had to clean up at this house was massive. I had lots of opportunities to say positive things to my daughter, my husband and my son in law who were all working too. It felt good to think about kind things to say.

A homeless couple saw us and asked if we could pay them to help. We were happy to have the extra help as this job was taking far too long. It was nice to see them working so hard for their money. When they were done, my son in law went to get cash to pay them and he brought them back a meal as well. I was so impressed to see his generosity.

There are opportunities to do and say positive things every day.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

day 70- I'm a believer!

I found this article on the internet. I’m a believer.

The Power of Positive Thinking

By Remez Sasson

Positive thinking is a mental attitude that admits into the mind thoughts, words and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success. It is a mental attitude that expects good and favorable results. A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds.

Not everyone accepts or believes in positive thinking. Some consider the subject as just nonsense, and others scoff at people who believe and accept it. Among the people who accept it, not many know how to use it effectively to get results. Yet, it seems that many are becoming attracted to this subject, as evidenced by the many books, lectures and courses about it. This is a subject that is gaining popularity.

It is quite common to hear people say: "Think positive!", to someone who feels down and worried. Most people do not take these words seriously, as they do not know what they really mean, or do not consider them as useful and effective. How many people do you know, who stop to think what the power of positive thinking means?

The following story illustrates how this power works:
Allan applied for a new job, but as his self-esteem was low, and he considered himself as a failure and unworthy of success, he was sure that he was not going to get the job. He had a negative attitude towards himself, and believed that the other applicants were better and more qualified than him. Allan manifested this attitude, due to his negative past experiences with job interviews.

His mind was filled with negative thoughts and fears concerning the job for the whole week before the job interview. He was sure he would be rejected. On the day of the interview he got up late, and to his horror he discovered that the shirt he had planned to wear was dirty, and the other one needed ironing. As it was already too late, he went out wearing a shirt full of wrinkles.

During the interview he was tense, displayed a negative attitude, worried about his shirt, and felt hungry because he did not have enough time to eat breakfast. All this distracted his mind and made it difficult for him to focus on the interview. His overall behavior made a bad impression, and consequently he materialized his fear and did not get the job.

Jim applied for the same job too, but approached the matter in a different way. He was sure that he was going to get the job. During the week preceding the interview he often visualized himself making a good impression and getting the job.

In the evening before the interview he prepared the clothes he was going to wear, and went to sleep a little earlier. On day of the interview he woke up earlier than usual, and had ample time to eat breakfast, and then to arrive to the interview before the scheduled time.

He got the job because he made a good impression. He had also of course, the proper qualifications for the job, but so had Allan.

What do we learn from these two stories? Is there any magic employed here? No, it is all natural. When the attitude is positive we entertain pleasant feelings and constructive images, and see in our mind's eye what we really want to happen. This brings brightness to the eyes, more energy and happiness. The whole being broadcasts good will, happiness and success. Even the health is affected in a beneficial way. We walk tall and the voice is more powerful. Our body language shows the way you feel inside.

Positive and negative thinking are both contagious.
All of us affect, in one way or another, the people we meet. This happens instinctively and on a subconscious level, through thoughts and feelings transference, and through body language. People sense our aura and are affected by our thoughts, and vice versa. Is it any wonder that we want to be around positive people and avoid negative ones? People are more disposed to help us if we are positive, and they dislike and avoid anyone broadcasting negativity.

Negative thoughts, words and attitude bring up negative and unhappy moods and actions. When the mind is negative, poisons are released into the blood, which cause more unhappiness and negativity. This is the way to failure, frustration and disappointment.

Practical Instructions

In order to turn the mind toward the positive, inner work and training are required. Attitude and thoughts do not change overnight.

Read about this subject, think about its benefits and persuade yourself to try it. The power of thoughts is a mighty power that is always shaping our life. This shaping is usually done subconsciously, but it is possible to make the process a conscious one. Even if the idea seems strange give it a try, as you have nothing to lose, but only to gain. Ignore what others might say or think about you, if they discover that you are changing the way you think.

Always visualize only favorable and beneficial situations. Use positive words in your inner dialogues or when talking with others. Smile a little more, as this helps to think positively. Disregard any feelings of laziness or a desire to quit. If you persevere, you will transform the way your mind thinks.

Once a negative thought enters your mind, you have to be aware of it and endeavor to replace it with a constructive one. The negative thought will try again to enter your mind, and then you have to replace it again with a positive one. It is as if there are two pictures in front of you, and you choose to look at one of them and disregard the other. Persistence will eventually teach your mind to think positively and ignore negative thoughts.

In case you feel any inner resistance when replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, do not give up, but keep looking only at the beneficial, good and happy thoughts in your mind.

It does not matter what your circumstances are at the present moment. Think positively, expect only favorable results and situations, and circumstances will change accordingly. It may take some time for the changes to take place, but eventually they do.

Monday, May 9, 2011

day 69- more on service

Serving others by listening and sharing my learning and experience has been vital in motivating me to stay on course.

From the LDS twelve step program:

Step 12 (cont.) SERVICE

President Ezra Taft Benson taught: "Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose his life in the service of God will find eternal life" ("Jesus Christ—Gifts and Expectations," Ensign, Dec. 1988, 4). Be prayerful as you consider ways to serve, seeking always to be led by the Holy Ghost. If you are willing, you will find many opportunities to share the spiritual principles you have learned. You will find ways to share your testimony with others and opportunities to serve them in many other ways. As you serve others, you will maintain humility by focusing on the gospel principles and practices you have learned. Only then can you be assured that your motives and inspiration are good. Be sure to give freely, not expecting a particular result.

Serve others who struggle with addiction by sharing the principles of recovery; apply these principles in all aspects of life The LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program offers great opportunities for service. You can serve others by attending meetings and sharing your experience, faith, and hope. You can support others and strengthen them. As you have practiced the principles of the gospel, you have learned that the Atonement applies in every aspect of life. President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles testified: "For some reason we think the Atonement of Christ applies only at the end of mortal life to redemption from the Fall, from spiritual death. It is much more than that. It is an ever- present power to call upon in everyday life. When we are racked or harrowed up or tormented by guilt or burdened with grief, He can heal us" (in Conference Report, Apr. 2001, 28; or Ensign, May 2001, 23). You can share this message with others through your example and your words of encouragement. When you meet people throughout the day, greet them with a smile. Show gratitude for what they do. When opportunities arise, bear testimony of the hope that comes through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Day 66- I can’t believe it might happen again.

Had an embarrassing and horrible thing happen that is testing my positive thinking resolve. Not ready to talk about it, but it could hurt us financially in a very big way. We have had set backs so many times, and every time we work so hard to dig ourselves out. I can’t believe it might happen again.

But I have been using what I have been learning to help me through it.

I can handle it! Whatever happens, there will be something positive to learn from it and if its God’s will, we will be delivered.

I refuse to fret, and entertain negative thoughts and fears, and place blame.

Positive thinking = faith, faith precedes the miracle.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

day 65-seeking the praiseworthy

I just taught a class on praise and constructive criticism for young mothers at my church. I got to do step twelve and serve as I reminded myself of important positive thinking and communication skills and was taught by the members of the class.

We cannot praise people enough, especially our children. We should be genuine and generous in praising others, not pretentious or insincere.

Thinking the best of others, looking for the best in others and praising all the good we catch others doing, results in more praiseworthy behavior.

If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we SEEK after these things.

Articles of Faith 1:13

Maybe if we seek for what is virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we will find it and praise it more, and criticize less.

One of the women Jessica Casperson, said “Say what you want them to be.”

People become what we say they are. May we think and say positive things.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Monday, May 2, 2011

Day 62- Service

Sharing these principles on my blog and in my support group has blessed others and myself in the process.

From the LDS 12 step program


KEY PRINCIPLE: Having had a spiritual
awakening as a result of the Atonement of
Jesus Christ, share this message with others
and practice these principles in all you do.
Service will help you grow in the light of the
Spirit throughout the rest of your life. In step 10,
you learned to evaluate your life each day and to be
accountable for your actions. In step 11, you learned
to remember the Savior from moment to moment
so you might have the guidance of the Holy Ghost as
continuously as possible. Step 12 involves the third
anchor—service to others—that ensures a continued
recovery and a remission of sin.

To remain free of addiction, you must get outside
yourself and serve. The desire to help others is a natural
result of spiritual awakening.
You have a message of hope for other addicts, for all
afflicted and troubled people who are willing to consider
a spiritual approach to changing their lives, and
for anyone seeking truth and righteousness. The message
is that God is a God of miracles, just as He has
always been (see Moroni 7:29). Your life proves that.
You are becoming a new person through the Atonement
of Jesus Christ. You will share this message best
through your efforts to serve others. As you serve,
your understanding and knowledge of this process
is strengthened and deepened.

Sharing your testimony of His mercy and His grace
is one of the most important services you can offer.
Bearing the burdens of others through acts of kindness
and selfless service is part of your new life as a follower
of Christ (see Mosiah 18:8).

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Day 61

Happy Sabbath!

Words from Dallin Oaks:

“Different persons have different physical characteristics and different susceptibilities to the various physical and emotional pressures we may encounter in our childhood and adult environments. We did not choose these personal susceptibilities either, but we do choose and will be accountable for the attitudes, priorities, behavior, and “lifestyle” we engraft upon them.

Essential to our doctrinal position on these matters is the difference between our freedom and our agency. Our freedom can be limited by various conditions of mortality, but God’s gift of agency cannot be limited by outside forces, because it is the basis for our accountability to him. The contrast between freedom and agency can be illustrated in the context of a hypothetical progression from feelings to thoughts to behavior to addiction. This progression can be seen on a variety of matters, such as gambling and the use of tobacco and alcohol.

Just as some people have different feelings than others, some people seem to be unusually susceptible to particular actions, reactions, or addictions. Perhaps such susceptibilities are inborn or acquired without personal choice or fault, like the unnamed ailment the Apostle Paul called “a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure” (2 Cor. 12:7). One person may have feelings that draw him toward gambling, but unlike those who only dabble, he becomes a compulsive gambler. Another person may have a taste for tobacco and a susceptibility to its addiction. Still another may have an unusual attraction to alcohol and the vulnerability to be readily propelled into alcoholism. Other examples may include a hot temper, a contentious manner, a covetous attitude, and so on.

In each case (and in other examples that could be given) the feelings or other characteristics that increase susceptibility to certain behavior may have some relationship to inheritance. But the relationship is probably very complex. The inherited element may be nothing more than an increased likelihood that an individual will acquire certain feelings if he or she encounters particular influences during the developmental years. But regardless of our different susceptibilities or vulnerabilities, which represent only variations on our mortal freedom (in mortality we are only “free according to the flesh” [2 Ne. 2:27]), we remain responsible for the exercise of our agency in the thoughts we entertain and the behavior we choose. I discussed this contrast in a talk I gave at Brigham Young University several years ago:

“Most of us are born with [or develop] thorns in the flesh, some more visible, some more serious than others. We all seem to have susceptibilities to one disorder or another, but whatever our susceptibilities, we have the will and the power to control our thoughts and our actions. This must be so. God has said that he holds us accountable for what we do and what we think, so our thoughts and actions must be controllable by our agency. Once we have reached the age or condition of accountability, the claim ‘I was born that way’ does not excuse actions or thoughts that fail to conform to the commandments of God. We need to learn how to live so that a weakness that is mortal will not prevent us from achieving the goal that is eternal.”

“God has promised that he will consecrate our afflictions for our gain (see 2 Ne. 2:2). The efforts we expend in overcoming any inherited [or developed] weakness build a spiritual strength that will serve us throughout eternity. Thus, when Paul prayed thrice that his ‘thorn in the flesh’ would depart from him, the Lord replied, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Obedient, Paul concluded:

“‘Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

“‘Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong’ (2 Cor. 12:9–10).

“Whatever our susceptibilities or tendencies [feelings], they cannot subject us to eternal consequences unless we exercise our free agency to do or think the things forbidden by the commandments of God. For example, a susceptibility to alcoholism impairs its victim’s freedom to partake without addiction, but his free agency allows him to abstain and thus escape the physical debilitation of alcohol and the spiritual deterioration of addiction.

“… Beware the argument that because a person has strong drives toward a particular act, he has no power of choice and therefore no responsibility for his actions. This contention runs counter to the most fundamental premises of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

“Satan would like us to believe that we are not responsible in this life. That is the result he tried to achieve by his contest in the pre-existence. A person who insists that he is not responsible for the exercise of his free agency because he was ‘born that way’ is trying to ignore the outcome of the War in Heaven. We are responsible, and if we argue otherwise, our efforts become part of the propaganda effort of the Adversary.

“Individual responsibility is a law of life. It applies in the law of man and the law of God. Society holds people responsible to control their impulses so we can live in a civilized society. God holds his children responsible to control their impulses in order that they can keep his commandments and realize their eternal destiny. The law does not excuse the short-tempered man who surrenders to his impulse to pull a trigger on his tormentor, or the greedy man who surrenders to his impulse to steal, or the pedophile who surrenders to his impulse to satisfy his sexual urges with children. …

“There is much we do not know about the extent of freedom we have in view of the various thorns in the flesh that afflict us in mortality. But this much we do know; we all have our free agency and God holds us accountable for the way we use it in thought and deed. That is fundamental.” 7

Friday, April 29, 2011


Here is a site I found with some great quotes



Many times we spend hours and hours dwelling and ruminating on the negative and fearful things in our lives. Instead, our focus and attention needs to be on the positive, the good, and on thoughts that will move us in the right direction. Read one of these statements to yourself every day -- and dwell on it.

If you pay attention to the darkness, you'll never find the light.

If you study and relive your past experiences, analyzing them, and "getting in touch with your feelings" you will only reinforce those feelings. If you want to get away from a problem, you should not focus on it. Focus on the good, the positive, the beautiful, the nice.

A happy person is fully caught up in the moment --and is not thinking about the past or the future.

Too much thinking and analyzing just makes any problem worse. Today is a wonderful day – live it in the present.

Why do little children think ghosts, goblins, and monsters are real? As adults, we know they aren’t. Your thoughts aren’t "real" either in the sense that you "create" and reinforce them -- and the emotions that go along with them. Your thoughts are only what you decide to believe in and continually reinforce in your mind. (This one is deep – think about this one.)

For example, you are sitting alone in the dark in your home. You are down, depressed and thinking negative thoughts. All of a sudden the phone rings and it’s a friend you haven’t talked to in six years. You become alert, your mood picks up, and you have a nice conversation. Then, after you’ve hung up, you get blue again and fall back into a depressed mood. Why?

Suggestion: Even though we don’t feel it – we have more power over our thoughts than we think. We can decide to stay "up" after the phone call by doing everything we can to keep from slipping back into the quicksand of rumination and despair. (Cognitive-behavioral therapy gives us the tools to move away from anxiety and depression – and eventually to stay or "be" that way.)

If your thoughts begin to change, you will feel better.

If you act despite your feelings, your beliefs and emotions will follow behind.

There is so much in life I can’t control. But this is my life and I’ve decided to be happy. I can choose to be happy regardless of my other circumstances. It’s not "when I get a promotion, I’ll be happy....." or "when I can speak in front of a small group of people, I’ll be happy....." The focus should be on learning to be happy now. Tap into your inner peace and contentment in the way that works best for you.

Happiness is a result of a decision to be happy.

Your emotions and feelings are created by your thoughts.

Unhappiness cannot exist on its own. It occurs because of thoughts, which can be changed.

Your past thoughts are about events that are no longer real. That bad experience happened yesterday (in the past) and is over. It is gone and exists solely in your mind. Today is a new day, a better day, and worrying about the past just dooms us in the present. It’s how you process it now that makes a difference.

You are a thought-producing machine. When you realize this, you can begin to slow your thoughts down and allow your anxieties and fears to rest.

Your automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are only thoughts: they are not real. Your ANTS are not real. They do not tell you the truth.

Our tendency is to think TOO MUCH and to paralyze ourselves with our ruminations. We have a choice: Realize what we're doing to ourselves, get up, find a distraction, and do something interesting (positive).

Happy people understand that to enjoy life you live it -- you don’t think about it.

Watch a roomful of preschool children. They are enjoying life because they are focused on the moment and are not thinking about it. They are immersed and absorbed in living.

Analysis creates paralysis.

Anticipatory anxiety killing you? Stop thinking about it, take that step, and just do it.

Thoughts grow with attention. If you focus on negative thoughts, they will grow and grow and become larger. If you focus on your progress and the new thoughts you are learning, they will grow stronger and take "automatic" control.

Even if you understand and know why you have a problem, this will not help you in solving it. Going over and over the reasons for your problem is like pouring salt in an open wound.

The only factor making you unhappy is your own thoughts. Relax, release them, let them go.

When you notice self-limiting and self-defeating thoughts playing over and over in your mind, say "STOP! I will not give you any more power over me! I have better things to do!!"

Anxiety Therapy, Anxiety Strategies, & Anxiety Help Pages

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Day 58- laugh at yourself

Back in March a friend sent me this message about my positive thinking support group.

"Your group is a good idea. When I lived with my parents, my mother had the same feelings (nothing really new under the sun, huh?). She and nine other ladies formed a group called "The Jolly Ten" and they met in each other's homes once a month. With the 10 of them that left 2 months that were a Christmas party, ladies only and a cook out with the whole families. From what I remember about the meetings that were at our house, all they did was laugh! Now, with the time of life I'm in, that really appeals to me!! "The Jollies" was an exclusive group and I think they did a lot of gossiping. I have thought to start an inclusive group with the only guidelines that you couldn't gossip and you could only talk about positive things."

Well we’ve been meeting for a couple of months now, we have a rule that we can only say positive things and we have done some laughing, but at yesterdays meeting we determined we needed to do more laughing.

Anybody know any good, clean emo jokes?

Some of what we think, say and do every day can be pretty funny if we look for the humor and are willing to laugh at ourselves.

I used to have pity parties at my ice-cream parlor. We would choose someone who was having a particularly hard time and share our “Pity Party” ice cream treat of 13 scoops and 13 toppings. We had fun making light( not fun) of whatever the persons challenge was.

At our very first pity party we invited some women to honor who used humor to face their challenges. We laughed harder at that one than any since. Our guests of honor were two sisters who had both gone blind due to diabetes. They told us funny stories about rearranging furniture and other challenges of being blind. One told how she had to go downstairs to the basement to do her laundry and her husband asked her if she would like him to turn the light on for her. She could hardly get the words out as she was in stitches.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Day 57- my weaknesses becoming my strengths

When I was severely depressed I would have given anything to have a support group to help me through the hard times. I am so grateful to be in a position to do for others what I wish had been done for me.
I don’t wish for anyone to feel those lonely painful feelings. If my experience will help someone else then I can understand why I had to experience it.

Tonight we had 3 new people in our support group and we enjoyed the sweet fruits of the spirit as we met together. I am learning the meaning of my weaknesses becoming my strengths. I am humbled and grateful.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Day 56-positive Quotes

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
-Winston Churchill

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours”
-Swedish Proverb

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.”
-Willie Nelson

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.”
-Oprah Winfrey

“For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else.
-Winston Churchill

Monday, April 25, 2011

Day 55- couldn't have said it better myself

Think Simple Now. A Blog on Creativity, Productivity, and Happiness.

6 Ways to be Positive in Any Situation

The power of remaining positive, whatever the situation, can never be underestimated. We are all here for a limited period of time, is it worth it to spend any of that time in a dismal mood? Being negative?

The true test of an individual to remain positive is when challenges become difficult. Remaining positive keeps one’s mind in the right state of balance and often opens resolutions to the problems at hand. Negativity is contagious; not only does it affect the individual, but it spreads to anyone they interact with. When only the negative perspective is in focus, the resolution process is impeded.

Eliminating negativity, or rather, being positive is a mindset that can be found at any moment, and turned into a habit. Here are some tips that can help you in shifting your mindset:

1.Shift Your Thoughts – Be conscious of your thoughts. Especially, when life just isn’t going your way. The moment you see that you are diving into frustration, agony, sorrow and low self-esteem – shift your thoughts, by thinking about something completely unrelated. This breaks the pattern of self-pity, mind-created stories, and negative downward spiral. What makes us different from other mammals is our ability to control our thoughts and think for ourselves.

2.Find the Lesson – There is a lesson to be learned from every situation. No matter how unfortunate the situation may appear, recognize the beautiful lessons waiting to be discovered. Sometimes lessons are expensive, but every problem is a learning opportunity in disguise. You may have made a mistake, but now you can accept it and continue, knowing that you will make a different decision in the future. Understand this and be appreciative for the experience.

3.Attitude of Gratitude – You cannot be both angry and grateful at the same time. Start counting the blessings and miracles in your life, start looking for them and you shall find more. What’s there not to be grateful? You are alive and breathing! Realize how lucky you are and all the abundance in your life.

4.Positive Affirmations & Visualization – Practice seeing yourself in a positive and confident light. Do this whenever you have a few minutes (examples; Waiting for a friend, sitting on the bus, riding an elevator.) Self-affirmations (list of positive statements about yourself and your self image) are another simple and powerful tool to train your subconscious to see yourself in a positive light. This is important, as many of us can be so hard on ourselves though social conditioning. I am guilty of being extra tough on myself, but have learned over time to recognize my gifts rather than finding false and self-imposed inadequacies.

5.Inventory of Memories – Keep an inventory of memories that can immediately make you smile. Occasions where you felt happy, appreciative and cheerful. When you were at peace with the world. Whenever you are in a negative frame of mind, consciously and deliberately pick up any leaf out of this inventory and dwell on it. Reminiscing those happy moments gives a balanced perspective to your situation. You realize that what appears negative today will change tomorrow. Nothing stays the same.

6.Criticizing Detox Diet – Change your approach and attitude. See if you can stop criticizing others and situations. Our cultural conditioning teaches us to find flaws and problems at all times. Shift from fault-finding to appreciation-finding.

Whether you are positive or negative, the situation does not change. So, we mind as well be positive.

As with any habit, the habit of remaining positive in all situations takes practice and a commitment to yourself to take control. But start small, start paying attention to your emotions, start by wanting to change. I am working on this constantly, and I am here with you, working towards better understanding of my emotions and becoming a better person. Keep going at it, and you will gradually become a positive energy source for the others around you! Wouldn’t that be empowering?

Friday, April 22, 2011

Day 52- count your blessings

Remembering to be grateful is a very positive way to think.

Every morning I get out of a warm comfortable bed. I flip a switch that lights up the room. I go into the kitchen and open a box that keeps things cold and get out something to eat. I cook on another appliance and have other units that keep my house warm or cool. I can get where I need to go quickly.

These are just a very few of the luxuries we take for granted every day, not to mention the natural everyday blessings of health and family.

I have a hard time thinking about what I don’t have when I’m thinking about all that I do have.

1. When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Count your blessings;
Name them one by one.
Count your blessings;
See what God hath done.
Count your blessings;
Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings;
See what God hath done.

2. Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.

3. When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.

4. So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Text: Johnson Oatman, Jr., 1856–1922

Music: Edwin O. Excell, 1851–1921

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Day 50- "He did not revile them back"

It’s Easter season. I participated in a musical production “The Garden” in Richmond last Friday and Saturday night. The most moving part of the production for me was when the "objects" in the garden describe the Savior as he enters the garden. He looks pale and weak to them. Next all the characters and chorus are singing at the same time. Jesus is singing about doing his Father’s will, Satan is taunting him and trying to fill His mind with doubt. The “objects” and the chorus are describing His agony and His “blood flowing like a river” and asking, why doesn’t he leave, who is He talking to?

We know from the scriptures that, immediately following this physically draining experience, He was up all night. Then he was scourged and given a cross to carry. And yet when he was reviled, he “did not revile them back“. He was completely the master of his thoughts and emotions.

Perhaps I can remember this next time I am exhausted and someone annoys me.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Day 49- One day at a time, Part 2

When I first thought that I could become a changed person it scared me that I might be able to keep it up. But then I remembered fear and faith can’t abide in me at the same time. So I am taking it one day at a time and not worrying about the future. I’m feeling stronger in my resolve today than I did 49 days ago.

From the LDS Twelve step program:

Examine your thoughts, words, and deeds daily; immediately set right any wrongs Step 10 represents acceptance of the truth that you must continue to live by spiritual principles. If you stray from them, repent immediately and ask God at once to restore your peace through His Spirit. Honesty and humility can strengthen you. You will become more conscious of Heavenly Father's presence in your life as you call on Him to help you stay spiritually clean. You will learn to value progress and to forgive imperfection in yourself and others. You will lose the desire to be at odds with anything or anyone. Self-appraisal becomes a way of life as you let go of fears and overcome temptations one day at a time.

. Watch your thoughts, words, and deeds "If ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not" (Mosiah 4:30).

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 48-signs of progress

I thought the best of people and situations 3 different times today. I changed my focus and remembered that I loved them.

I encouraged 2 members in my family to think positive about situations they were facing, because positive thinking = faith.
I read from “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale
And “Men and Women of Christ” by Neal Maxwell.(as well as my daily scriptures and reading Meridian Magazine articles.)

Because it is a daily effort I see/feel progress.

Thursday was Phil’s and my 32nd anniversary. I decided that if I wanted to spend time with him on our anniversary I would have to go to work with him. I was tired, and as I’ve said before, I don’t do tired well. I also don’t like doing the work Phil does. I really wanted to sit in the truck and read from my positive thinking library while he did the work, but I remembered reading in “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway”, by Susan Jeffers, how empowering it is to not give in to those negative thoughts and do the hard things that you don’t want to do. So I decided to give Phil the gift of my help. Now I said I was tired, so I didn’t do it all as cheerfully as I had wanted, but I didn’t give up and sit in the truck. I kept shaking it off and changing my thoughts to how cool it would be to tell people how many locks I changed that day.

I changed 15!

Friday, April 15, 2011

day 45- oops!

When I’m tired I turn into the wicked witch of the west. I’m tired almost every day.

I don’t sleep well so this poses a problem for me. I have been able to go back to bed most mornings so it isn’t a big issue unless I have to go somewhere early the next day and I can’t go back to sleep, like yesterday and today. Phil usually gets the worst of it and my evil mind tells me he should because he’s usually the reason I can’t sleep. He can’t help that he snores and jerks around in his sleep, but it doesn’t make it any easier on me.

So on these days when I can’t go back to sleep, you would think that he would be more careful in his communications with me.

So I messed up again, but I bounced back faster than past times, by letting go of my selfish tired thoughts. I heard my sisters words from years ago, “can’t you just forgive (him)?” And the words from a story in a conference talk, “Just let it go.”

Next time someone is thoughtless when I’m tired, I have decided to decide I will give them a big hug and say, I love you. And the bad thoughts and feelings will melt away.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

day 44

The face of Optimism. Gordon B. Hinckley always said that he was an optimist, I believe he got it from his wife. I have been saying that positive thinking= faith, hope, & charity. The authors of this article from Meridian Magazine agree with me.

Photograph by Scot Facer Proctor

Thursday, April 14 2011

Marjorie Pay Hinckley Believed "Things Always Work Out"

By Susan Easton Black and Mary Jane Wood

The following is an excerpt from the new book Women of Character.

Twenty-five-year-old Marjorie Pay was anticipating her wedding day when the telephone rang. “I think we had better go to lunch today,” her fiancĂ©, Gordon B. Hinckley, said. He did not tell her on the phone that he had cold feet and was trying to find a way out of the engagement. While ordering lunch Gordon warned his bride-to-be, “I think you should know that I only have $150 to my name.” Marjorie’s response was not what Gordon had expected: “Oh, that will work out just fine; if you’ve got $150, we’re set!” Reflecting on her thoughts that day, Marjorie said, “Well, $150 sounded like a small fortune to me. I had hoped for a husband and now I was getting $150 too!”

Born November 23, 1911, in Nephi, Utah, Marjorie had an ability to “see the good in any situation—and to see it instantly—mak[ing] Pollyanna look like an amateur.” Her optimistic attitude included “a willingness to be flexible and adaptive, to not overreact to daily irritations.” Her basic philosophy, “Things always work out somehow,” proved a blessing in her life and the lives of those who knew her best.2

Marjorie never learned to ride a bicycle or swim, never went to college, and never viewed herself destined for fame.3 Early in her marriage she realized it would be better if “we worked harder at getting accustomed to one another than constantly trying to change each other—which [she] discovered was impossible.” She believed, “It is the artful duty of a woman to adjust.”4 And adjust she did, although Gordon never insisted that she do anything his way—or any way for that matter. He gave her space and “let her fly.”5

She was a low-stress mother who tried not to over-schedule herself or her children. One day her oldest son came up missing when there were lawns to be mowed and irrigation ditches to be cleaned. When he showed up just in time for dinner she asked him, “Where have you been?” He replied, “Down in the hollow.” She asked, “And what have you been doing down in the hollow?” He said, “Nothing.” Years later when this same son returned from a mission he said to his mother, “Mom I had a wonderful childhood, didn’t I?” Marjorie replied, “Oh, it was wonderful—those long summer days when you could lie on your back in the hollow and listen to the birds sing and watch the ants build their castles.”6

Marjorie’s willingness to look on the bright side of life was a constant source of strength to Gordon as he served in the leading councils of the LDS Church. After his call to the Quorum of the Twelve, Gordon was asked to travel extensively throughout the world. The night before a trip to South America that would take him away for several weeks,

Marjorie asked whether she should plan to go with him. He replied, “Can’t we decide that in the morning?”7

As Marjorie traveled with her husband, Gordon would often call on her to speak extemporaneously. “I can tell you why my husband has called on me,” she would say. “It is because he is still trying to figure out what to say and I’m supposed to stall.”8 Audiences immediately responded to her humor because they felt “in Sister Hinckley, what you see is what you get—and that is what everyone wants to get! Her love, her honest interest in you as a person, her lack of affectation and self-aggrandizement, her faith—she is the real thing.”9

She once told Church members, “I have a new project to read one chapter a day from each of the standard works. I’ve been on it four days and I’m only three days behind.”10 Another time when she and Gordon were informed by a Church security officer of a possible danger, Marjorie smiled and said, “It will be all right” and kept reading a book. When asked how she could remain so calm, she replied, “I stopped worrying about Gordon a long time ago because I knew it couldn’t do much good. I just pray for him, ask him to be careful, and trust that the Lord knows every situation we are in.”11

When her husband was sustained as president of the Church, Marjorie’s easy-going manner and humor not only blessed him, it endeared her to Church members. Marjorie once told an audience that “sometimes as she is doing her housework the thought occurs to her of the reality that she is married to the prophet of the Lord. . . . Her first reaction is to think, ‘I want my mother!’” In explaining what it is like to live with a prophet, she said, “He leaves his towels on the floor and his tie over the couch.”12

Whether speaking to an audience or just one person, Marjorie always put others at ease because she was at ease with herself and never fussed over her appearance. Once when she was getting ready for a formal occasion her daughter dropped in to see her. When Marjorie started to put on a pleated skirt and white cotton blouse her daughter protested. “Mother, this is a huge thing. . . .The reception is in honor of Dad and you. He’s probably going to wear a tux. Every woman there will have on sequins and diamonds.” Continuing to dress, completely unruffled by her comment, Marjorie said, “Well, I don’t have any sequins in my closet. But this skirt is black, and the blouse does have a lace collar. And besides that, if we’re the guests of honor, whatever I wear will have to be right!”13

Marjorie died on April 6, 2004, in Salt Lake City. Did she ever imagine where her life would take her? “Absolutely not,” she insisted.14 It has been said that “Marjorie was faith, hope and charity personified. It is the pure love of Christ everyone felt in her presence. It was the pure love of Christ that allowed her to stop worrying how the world saw and treated her and let her focus on how she treated others. She simply chose to see the best in any situation.”15


1 Virginia H. Pearce, ed. Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley (Salt Lake City: Deseret

Book, 1999), 77.

2 Ibid., 77, 145.

3 Doug Robinson, “Marjorie Hinckley—‘Every bit his equal’: The low-profile woman behind the highprofile

man,” LDS Church News, April 5, 2003.

4 Pearce, 184, 186.

5 “Til We Meet Again: Marjorie Hinckley’s Funeral,” Meridian Magazine, 2.

6 Ibid., 3.

7 Sheri L. Dew, Go Forward with Faith: The Biography of Gordon B. Hinckley (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book,

1996), 338.

8 Ibid.

9 Pearce, 40.

10 L. Tom Perry, “An Elect Lady,” Ensign, May 1995, 73–75.

11 Deseretbook.com/mormon-life/news/story?story_id=3999.

12 Pearce, 108–109.

13 Deseretbook.com/mormon-life/news/strory?story_id=3999.

14 Ibid.

15 “Til We Meet Again,” 4.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Day 43- one day at a time

I realize that, like any other addiction, I will have to work on this every day for the rest of my life. But we’re supposed to be working on getting better every day any way.

From the LDS Twelve Step Program:

DAILY ACCOUNTABILITY KEY PRINCIPLE: Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong promptly admit it. B y the time you come to step 10, you are ready for a new way of living. The first nine steps helped you learn a pattern of life based on spiritual principles. These principles now become the foundation on which you build for the rest of your life. In taking the first nine steps, you have applied principles of the gospel—faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and repentance. You have seen miraculous changes in your life. You have experienced love and tolerance, and you have developed a desire for peace. Your desire for your addiction has all but disappeared. When you are tempted, you often find yourself recoiling from your addiction rather than desiring it. You feel humility and awe of what Heavenly Father has done that you could not do alone. The final three steps will help you maintain your new spiritually minded way of life, so they are often called maintenance steps. Self-evaluation throughout life is not a new concept. In the Book of Mormon, Alma taught that maintaining a mighty change of heart takes effort. In verse after verse, he indicated that honest, prayerful self-appraisal and immediate repentance must be a continual part oflife (see Alma 5:14-30). Toretain what you have gained, you must stay in fit spiritual condition. You dothis by asking the kind of searching questions that Alma suggested about your feelings, thoughts, motives, and conduct. Through daily self-evaluation, you will keep from slipping into denial and complacency. As you learned in steps 4 and 5, an inventory that includes only your behaviors is not sufficient to change your heart. You also have to examine your thoughts and feelings. This principle is just as true in step 10. Continue to watch for pride in all its forms, and humbly take your weaknesses to your Heavenly Father, as you learned to do in steps 6 and 7. If you feel worried, self- pitying, troubled, anxious, resentful, carnal minded, or fearful in any way, turn immediately to the Father and allow Him to replace these thoughts with peace. As you pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, you can also discover any negative beliefs you still hold. Ask your Father in Heaven to remove these. In taking step 10, you will no longer have to resort to justifying, rationalizing, or blaming anything or anyone. Your goal will be to keep your heart open and your mind focused on the lessons the Savior has taught. Most of us follow step 10 by taking inventory each day. As you plan your day, prayerfully examine your motives. Are you doing too much or too little? Are you taking care of your basic spiritual, emotional, and physical needs? Do you serve others? Ask yourself these and other questions as you seek balance and serenity in your day. As the day unfolds, you can quickly stop negative thoughts or feelings that threaten to overwhelm you. Be especially alert for old behaviors or thinking patterns during highly stressful situations. Some people think of this type of inventory as a time-out. During this time-out, take a few moments and apply to your immediate situation each principle you have learned in following the steps. You will soon remember how essential it is to rely on the Lord in all your efforts to recover. You can say to yourself in a moment of crisis, "What character weakness in me is being triggered? What have I done to contribute to this problem? Is there anything I can say or do, without pretense, which will lead to a respectful solution for me and the other person? The Lord has all power. I'll relax and trust Him." If you have taken a negative action toward another person, make amends as quickly as possible. Cast aside pride, and remind yourself that sincerely saying "I was wrong" is often just as important in healing a relationship as saying "I love you." Before you go to bed, examine your entire day. Ask yourself if you still need to counsel with the Lord about any negative behaviors, thoughts, or feelings. In addition to counseling with the Lord, you can talk to an adviser or a friend in the program, someone you can trust to be objective about your thinking. You will continue to make mistakes as you interact with others, but a commitment to step 10 is a commitment to take responsibility for mistakes. If you examine your thoughts and actions each day and resolve them, negative thoughts and feelings will not increase until they threaten your abstinence. You no longer have to live in isolation from the Lord or others. You will have strength and faith to face difficulties and overcome them. You can rejoice in your progress and trust that practice and patience will ensure continued recovery.