“Sow a thought, and you reap an act; Sow an act, and you reap a habit; Sow a habit, and you reap a character; Sow a character, and you reap a destiny”

Charles Reade

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

day 28- Forgive

I have been using the LDS twelve step program as a guide because I see my negative thinking as an addiction . I find the steps meaningful and useful in overcoming my habit of thinking that turns into bad behavior.


When I read these excerpts, like the one I’m sharing today, I reflect on the way it applies to my negative thinking, and subsequent bad behavior, remembering “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he’ Prov. 23:7





From the LDS twelve step program:

Step 8

SEEKING FORGIVENESS



Before we could rebuild relationships, we needed to

identify the relationships that were damaged. We began

to list people we had harmed, but many of us found we

could not list these people without being distracted by

feelings of resentment toward those who had harmed

us. We honestly confessed our negative feelings to the

Lord. In response, He showed us that we faced the

same decision as the man in the parable who, having

been forgiven of all his debts, needed to forgive others.

We could almost hear the Lord say to us, “I forgave thee

all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not

thou also have . . . compassion on thy fellowservant,

even as I had pity on thee?” (Matthew 18:32–33).

If you find yourself facing this problem, you may

need to do as many of us have done. Before you make a

list of people from whom you need to seek forgiveness,

first list those people you need to forgive. Don’t be surprised

if some names appear on both lists. People often

get caught in terrible cycles of exchanging hurts with

others. To break these cycles of mutual resentment,

someone has to be willing to forgive.



As we prayed for help to forgive others—even if it

felt insincere at first—we were eventually blessed with

a miraculous sense of compassion. Even in extreme

situations, people who have taken this approach have

received the ability to forgive far beyond themselves.

One sister spent several weeks writing about her childhood

and praying for her abusive father. She testifies

with joy that the Savior has relieved her of her negative,

painful feelings toward her father. In making a similar

effort, we have learned that by making a thorough

inventory of our resentments and acknowledging them

to the Savior, we finally ceased to be victims of those

who hurt us. Once we honestly attempted to let go of

offenses toward us, we found we were able to finish

our lists of those we hoped would forgive us.

As you reach this point and begin your list, you

should pray for guidance from the Lord. These guidelines

may help. Ask yourself, “Is there anyone in my life,

past or present, who I feel embarrassed, uncomfortable,

or ashamed around?” Write down their names, and resist

the temptation to justify your feelings or excuse your

negative actions toward them. Include those you meant

to hurt, of course, and also those you did not intend to

hurt. Include those who have passed away and those

you have no idea how to contact. You will deal with

these special cases when you take step 9. For now, as

you work through step 8, focus on your willingness to

be rigorous and unrelenting in your honesty.

To be thorough, look for things you neglected to do

or things you left undone that hurt others. Don’t leave

out little things. Think honestly about the harm you

caused others as you indulged in your addiction, even

if you were not aggressive toward them. Admit the harm

you did to loved ones and friends by being irresponsible,

irritable, critical, impatient, and dishonorable. Look for

anything large or small that added to another person’s

burdens or that saddened or challenged someone.

Look for lies you told or promises you broke and ways you

manipulated or used others. List everyone who was

affected. You may find your step 4 inventory a useful

guide in this process.

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