Summer has been a very busy time, but I'm still here and at it, are you? I still read and think positive things every day even though I don't take as much time to write.
You should already know what has happened to me. I am happier. Thinking positive and being optimistic are becoming easier for me. I am learning to not let other people determine how I am going to react. I am learning that I am not a bad person when I have to say no and to get rid of those thoughts in my head that try to tell me I am, and ignore the judgemental looks and comments from selfish self serving people that try to make me feel guilty.
There has been alot written lately about this entitlement generation. I know our family has been affected and infected. Here are some samples from Meridian Magazine:
" The Age of Entitlement actually is an end product of Tom Brokaw’s “Greatest Generation.” Those who lived through the Great Depression, fought their way through World War II, and came home to create families and opportunity, sowed the seeds of the Entitlement Generation. This heroic generation, determined to give the next generation “all the things I never had,” gave them everything in life except the most important: self-reliance. The opportunity met the audience, and the results have reverberated ever since.
This bespeaks the question: to what are we entitled?
•Are we entitled to live unsafely and expect a government safety net?
•Are we entitled to eat poorly, diet poorly, exercise poorly and expect a government program to solve self-inflicted body ailments? Or, even provide low cost medicine and at the same time demand high cost/high yield R&D -- and then retain the right to massive lawsuits for the 10 out of 10 million for whom the medicine doesn’t work – dramatically driving up the cost to the pharmaceutical companies, and ultimately the customer?
•Are we entitled to live beyond our means our entire adult lives and expect a government guaranteed comfortable retirement income?
In just one generation we seem to have gone from self-reliance, to entitlement, to victimization. If we don’t get it, we are now victims of someone else’s conspiracy, greed, selfishness, or political ambition. In a comparison of values today vs. 40 years ago, Americans have dramatically increased their demands for someone else to fund and manage their problems.
Government programs, and those whose lives depend on them, never end. Congressional testimony favors those who want to keep or increase funding for programs over those who present testimony against programs by a 63:1 ratio – and the majority of those testifying are government bureaucrats whose salaries are being paid (including for the time spent testifying) by tax dollars: a clear case of conflict of interest.
This also goes to the heart of the question of how to define success in government programs. The typical view would be that a program succeeds when it can establish that more people are being served. An alternative view would be that the most successful program would be one where the Administrator would testify that the Congress can now de-fund the program; its purpose had been completely met: there was no one left who needed that service: turn out the lights. It would take a miracle for this to ever happen, but it should be the ultimate goal.
We must take stock now. Once freedom and choice are given away, they are seldom retrieved. As Benjamin Franklin observed: “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”[vi]
We are entitled to fight to preserve the one, and work to not need the other. That is our entitlement."
The Age of Entitlement
By Larry L. Eastland, Ph. D.
Editor’s note: Parent polls from a number of sources indicate that the most worried-about parenting challenge of all is the entitlement attitudes of today’s kids. Responding to this concern, the Eyres have undertaken a multi-part series on entitlement which will appear here in the pages of Meridian each Monday.
"Many readers saw and participated in the poll last week about what is the biggest problem or challenge faced by kids (and their parents) in today’s world.
The results were quite remarkable! More than half of the parents responding were most worried about ENTITLEMENT! (We combined those voting for “entitlement” and those voting with “excessive technology” which, let’s face it, is just another way of saying entitlement—entitlement to all things electronic!) Other audience polls and publication polls have put the percentage of parents most worried about entitlement at more than 65%!
We have been intrigued and surprised by the size of these majorities, and we have also been pleased, since the title of our new book, being released by Penguin this Fall is The Entitlement Trap.
Think about it: From half to two thirds of parents, with no explanation or discussion, voted for Entitlement as the biggest problem of this generation of kids and the biggest worry for this generation of parents.
We ask our audiences why? Their answers are fascinating:
“Entitlement leads to low motivation.”
“Kids they deserve everything and don’t have to earn anything.”
“It makes them disrespectful.”
“They don’t know how to work.”
“They think they have to have everything their friends have.”
“It’s the reason for all the other problems on the list, they think they can do whatever they want.”
Perhaps the biggest problem with entitlement is that under its illusions, there seem to be no real consequences in life and no motivation to work for anything. Someone will always bail you out, get you off the hook, buy you a new one, make excuses for you, give you another chance, pay your debt, and hand you what you ask for.
Entitlement is a double edged sword (or a double-jawed trap) for kids. On one edge it gives kids all that they don’t need—indulgence, dullness, conceit, and laziness; and on the backswing, it takes from them everything they do need—initiative, independence, inventiveness, pride, responsibility, and a chance to really work for things and to build their own sense of fulfillment and self-esteem."
The Biggest Kid-Problem: Entitlement
By Richard and Linda Eyre
Another Meridian contributor asked readers to respond to a phenomena in our church in her column,
"Using and Abusing the Priesthood Moving Company" By Kathryn H. Kidd, and she was deluged with letters from angry members tired of adults feeling entitled to the free services of members of the church, by virtue of their membership in the church. The article was primarily about moving people (You should read it) but I have seen worse abuse in members asking people to give free service from work that is their livelyhood for free. Some of the respondants adress the isssue of when it is appropriate service, but so many have been abused because of the entitlement attitude of others.
My sister is a floral designer and cake decorator. Either of these tasks are time consuming and expensive. I shudder to think of the disruption in her family and finances if she said yes to all of the requests from friends of friends who ask if she can do the flowers and/or bake the cake because someone wants to have a wedding that they cannot afford.
My husband is a handyman, whose abuse by members caused financial and emotional stress in our early years because my husband thought he should say yes to every request to help build a garage, replace a roof, fix a car, repair the plumbing, etc.. For the sake of my sanity, we are learning to say no. If you say yes, your name gets passed around for greater abuse, " oh call Phil Pence he's good at everything".
Now how does this all relate to positive thinking?
Entitlement comes from three things: laziness, selfishness and fear. We fear that we will not have what we want or need unless we can get someone else to do it or get it for us or that we could not possibly live without the help or thing that we want.
Faith=positive thinking.
Exercising faith (or thinking positive about our circumstance or problem) we can find an appropriate solution without burdening someone else.
If you don't have the money for the wedding flowers and cake you can have the faith that with creativity and sacrifice you can have a lovely simple reception where what is important is the focus.
If you need something repaired and you can afford a wide screen TV and to eat out once a week, you can pay someone to fix it. Do you have a skill that you can barter that would be beneficial to the other person? If not, don't expect them to do it. If you don't have the money to pay there are resources in books and on the internet that teach you how to do it yourself. It may be difficult, and time consuming but is your time more precious than the person you are asking? And will you not gain from the opposition confidence that you can do hard things. Does or doesn't facing opposition positively make us strong? Is it something you can save your money for and pay someone to do it later? Does it need to be done at all or is it something you want done for convenience or monetary gain? Did you neglect the upkeep and expect someone to bail you out?
When you think honestly and faithfully about your situation you will find a responsible, unselfish solution.
let me repeat the Eyre's again:
"Entitlement is a double edged sword (or a double-jawed trap) ... On one edge it gives (people) all that they don’t need—indulgence, dullness, conceit, and laziness; and on the backswing, it takes from them everything they do need—initiative, independence, inventiveness, pride, responsibility, and a chance to really work for things and to build their own sense of fulfillment and self-esteem."
That's a very positive way of thinking.
No comments:
Post a Comment