I have been using the LDS twelve step program as a guide because I see my negative thinking as an addiction . I find the steps meaningful and useful in overcoming my habit of thinking that turns into bad behavior.
When I read these excerpts, like the one I’m sharing today, I reflect on the way it applies to my negative thinking, and subsequent bad behavior, remembering “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he’ Prov. 23:7
From the LDS twelve step program:
Step 8
SEEKING FORGIVENESS
Before we could rebuild relationships, we needed to
identify the relationships that were damaged. We began
to list people we had harmed, but many of us found we
could not list these people without being distracted by
feelings of resentment toward those who had harmed
us. We honestly confessed our negative feelings to the
Lord. In response, He showed us that we faced the
same decision as the man in the parable who, having
been forgiven of all his debts, needed to forgive others.
We could almost hear the Lord say to us, “I forgave thee
all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not
thou also have . . . compassion on thy fellowservant,
even as I had pity on thee?” (Matthew 18:32–33).
If you find yourself facing this problem, you may
need to do as many of us have done. Before you make a
list of people from whom you need to seek forgiveness,
first list those people you need to forgive. Don’t be surprised
if some names appear on both lists. People often
get caught in terrible cycles of exchanging hurts with
others. To break these cycles of mutual resentment,
someone has to be willing to forgive.
As we prayed for help to forgive others—even if it
felt insincere at first—we were eventually blessed with
a miraculous sense of compassion. Even in extreme
situations, people who have taken this approach have
received the ability to forgive far beyond themselves.
One sister spent several weeks writing about her childhood
and praying for her abusive father. She testifies
with joy that the Savior has relieved her of her negative,
painful feelings toward her father. In making a similar
effort, we have learned that by making a thorough
inventory of our resentments and acknowledging them
to the Savior, we finally ceased to be victims of those
who hurt us. Once we honestly attempted to let go of
offenses toward us, we found we were able to finish
our lists of those we hoped would forgive us.
As you reach this point and begin your list, you
should pray for guidance from the Lord. These guidelines
may help. Ask yourself, “Is there anyone in my life,
past or present, who I feel embarrassed, uncomfortable,
or ashamed around?” Write down their names, and resist
the temptation to justify your feelings or excuse your
negative actions toward them. Include those you meant
to hurt, of course, and also those you did not intend to
hurt. Include those who have passed away and those
you have no idea how to contact. You will deal with
these special cases when you take step 9. For now, as
you work through step 8, focus on your willingness to
be rigorous and unrelenting in your honesty.
To be thorough, look for things you neglected to do
or things you left undone that hurt others. Don’t leave
out little things. Think honestly about the harm you
caused others as you indulged in your addiction, even
if you were not aggressive toward them. Admit the harm
you did to loved ones and friends by being irresponsible,
irritable, critical, impatient, and dishonorable. Look for
anything large or small that added to another person’s
burdens or that saddened or challenged someone.
Look for lies you told or promises you broke and ways you
manipulated or used others. List everyone who was
affected. You may find your step 4 inventory a useful
guide in this process.
No comments:
Post a Comment